mail ladies, gorilla heads, and snowmen named Hubert.

Welcome, Ladies and Gents, to the winter blizzard of 2009. Live on the west coast? Here's an idea of how much snow really is here. Today I fell off of my porch, and landing in the snow was more cushioned and comfortable than jumping on my bed, foamy topper included. I didn't even hit the ground. I then proceeded to wade through the thigh-deep snow and down my hill with my neighbor and good friend Olivia. Needless to say we slipped and fell several times. Our plans that day included making a giant gorilla head and a giant snowman. But first, the background stories.
Once upon a time, some winter about a year ago, Olivia and I were bored. Two bored teenagers, yes. Surprise surprise. School was called off, and life was good. We bundled up in our snuggly snow clothes and headed out into the cold yonder, prepared for whatever it was the day had in store. I made a snowball, as was expected. However, instead of throwing it at Olivia's perfectly exposed neck, I made it larger. I rolled it down the massive hill upon which I live. It got even larger. I rolled it back up my hill and down my driveway. It was now up to my knees. Olivia noticed these peculiar ongoings and proceeded to assist me in my ridiculous endeavors. We continued to roll the snowball down the road of our housing development until we reached our mutual friend Dean's house. We called to him and his sister Shelby to come and help us roll said snowball, which was now up to our hips. It was actually now a large ball of ice, which is a lot heavier than snow. Now excited about the quickly forming snowman butt, the four of us struggled to roll it back to a clear spot that was conveniently located at the bottom of my driveway. We made it about twenty five yards away when we had to stop. The spot we were in was actually where the road curved around the side of my hill, and our large hunk of ice rolled into my ditch. Because of its mass and general hugeness, we sort of decided to keep it there. We then made a stomach and head that were comparitively smaller, stuck a tobagan and two sticks on it, shoved some gravel in it's face, and called it "Hubert". It was the most beautiful snowman I had ever seen. It seriously took four weeks for Hubert to melt completely. It was a sad day for us all.
This year, whilst plowing around our mailbox, our neighbor (Olivia's father, coincidentally) hit our mailbox and promptly broke the edge of it. It's plastic, so breaking it really wasn't that hard. This is the second mailbox we've gone through since I was fourteen. How can I remember this? Because I killed the first one! My intentions were not malicious. I was simply learning to drive and smacked our mailbox with the bed of the truck I was in. Fun times. My sister then bought us a new mailbox for my stepdad's birthday, and even put shiny red letters on it to distract me and make me see it so that I would remember to check the mail after school every day. The only issue we had had with it thusfar was when my mother sprayed it with varnish instead of spider killer and turned half of the black plastic white....
Anyway, this morning our mailbox was again destroyed. Olivia's father, who I will call "Bill" simply to protect his identity so he doesn't make you wary if he is ever around your mailbox, hit it and broke the edge of it. When my mother closed the lid after inserting mail to be sent, the whole thing just kind of fell off of the wooden post and hit the icy ground with a *thud*. (onomatopoeia! i love those. I also love that I just spelled that correctly without looking it up.)
Taking advantage of the barren wooden post with the convenient little ledge upon which to set something (like a mailbox or perhaps a large gorilla head) I proceeded to pack a large snowball, then shape it into the shape of a (go ahead, guess) gorilla head. (good job, you got it!) Yes, I do like insterting little apostrophes into parentheses in the middle of my random discussions about mailboxes and gorilla heads. I then placed said gorilla head on the said ledge of the said wooden post and went back into my house to make some bacon. I later saw the mail lady give my piece of snow artwork an odd look that made my day just a little bit brighter. Now we have a new mailbox that "Bill" bought us out of kindness and expected responsibility for the murder of our mailbox in cold blood. Well, everything was cold. So responsibility for the murder of our mailbox in general coldness. I removed the gorilla head before my stepdad returned home to replace the mailbox, for which a vigil will be held at some point soon. Just about anyone can have a pet graveyard in their yard, but how many people have a mailbox graveyard? Yep, we're special.
Our plans in a Hubert Jr. failed, but the pain was eased by the gorilla, who I will now name Fiona. Though these stories will probably have no effect on your life and probably just wasted the last five minutes of it, I hope it made you smile.
My general point with this blog is to take the crazy random happenstances of every day life and make any situation funny, so that we may see that life is an adventure and is to be treated as such. So whoever you are, out there reading this, enjoy life. Laugh and smile whenever you can. When you're snowed in your home and are going crazy with cabin fever, make a big gorilla head and creep the bejeebies out of your mail person. Be inventive, be creative, be inspired by what is around you, and live each moment as much as you can. After all, you have to have stories to tell. Disney fairytales are nice, but real life ones are so much better. So now I say goodnight to the world, and all of you wonderful people who inhabit it. ♥
-Shaemazing.(: